25th September 2007

I'm going into a nightclub. I'm going up the stairs. When I get to the room, there's no music. My girlfriend's dad is there. My girlfriend is there and she's wearing really odd lipstick which changes colour when she moves her head. We leave and go home.

I'm at home and she tells me it's nearly time for dinner, but she tells me by messaging me via my PC monitor from another room. I sit at the table. A plate is put in front of me. It's made of paper and has the words 'Tom Waits' written on it in black marker. There is no food. I say I'm going for a walk.

I decided to look and see what's in the grounds behind my local sports centre. I find a giant army base. I'm careful not to get noticed as I look around. I see some men in army uniforms. They spot me and come over. "You shouldn't be here", I'm told, and being quite aware of that, I decide to turn around and leave. With that, nothing behind me looks like anything I recognise, so I keep walking. I'm venturing further into the army camp.
I'm seen by more troops. One comes over and he has a giant lobster-shaped hand and he's poking me with it. He won't leave me alone. "You shouldn't be here", he says. I know this already. "Once you've seen us, you can't leave. It's all highly secret and once the outsiders know we're here, they have to become one of us to stop the secret escaping."

I walk away, still trying to get out. I spot a small shop and go inside. I ask the man behind the counter what this is all about and he tells me the usual stuff about never being able to leave. I ask if I can get some chocolate and he says the shop never stocks chocolate as the soldiers can't share and are always fighting. He talls me to look for the giant-sized buiding in the middle of the army complex. "Someone there might be able to help, but I doubt it. Once you're inside, you stay here."

I find the giant building. It's entirely made of glass and it's in the middle of a cricket pitch. On the far side of the pitch is a full-scale replica of The White House. There seems to be lots of cricket games going on at once and balls are bouncing off the windows, which are flexible and the balls bounce off without any damage caused. A rather senior looking man asks me what I want. When I tell him I'm trying to get out he tells me what I already know:

"Once you're here, you can never leave."